A wonderful friend of mine, who works as a special education teacher in Brooklyn, wrote in her blog, that when she finishes this year (her fifth year teaching), she will have outlasted 50% of her peers in the field. I thought...can that be right? And then another good friend who works as a para-professional in a special ed school, posted this article from CNN. New teachers only remain in the field for an average of 4.5 years?
It seems to me that it might take about that long just to get to a point of being well-established and not feeling like a "new teacher" anymore. In the ethics books I'm reading for my School Psych seminar, it says that it takes about 10 years to reach "expert" status, so I'd think it takes about the first 4 or 5 years to leave "novice" and enter a sort of intermediate stage.
These statistics are incomplete in the sense that I don't know if teachers are leaving and entering a related field, or how much they invested in their training to become a teacher in the first place - I don't think every state requires teachers to have a masters degree, or you have a certain amount of time to get it after beginning teaching. It just seems sad to me, as I am investing so much time and money to become a School Psychologist, that after all that, I would leave the field after only 4.5 years? There must be something pretty darn extreme going on there to drive people out so quickly.
The CNN article said that many teachers cited parents as the reason for leaving the profession. First, this freaked me out, because as a School Psychologist, I will be expected to have more than the usual amount of contact with parents. But second, I wondered...why? Why are parents not respecting their kids' teachers? And why are teachers not prepared for dealing with parents? In theory, we should all be partners. We all are advocates for children, and we all want these kids to succeed. We really are on the same team. So why can't we all get along?
One suspicion I have, is that after a few crazy people go off on us, we will start to expect all parents to be crazy. (This happens a lot with arguments between me and Alex. He will *expect* me to be mad about something, so he gets defensive in advance. Then, I get annoyed because he is acting defensive, and then his prediction of my anger becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.) Are we being defensive with parents from the beginning, thus *causing* them to act crazy towards us?
As there are crazy people in the world, I am sure that I will have to deal with many crazy parents. (Case and point: the messages left on my supervisor's voice mail, SCREAMING at her about how terrible she is at her job.) However, my main goal is to remember that people who act "crazy" often have a reason for doing so, and dealing with large bureaucratic systems (like schools) can be really stressful. I want to attempt to put a positive spin on everything. (Eg. "Wow, I'm so happy you brought an advocate to this meeting. It's great that you are so invested in your child's education." Rather than thinking, Oh god. An advocate. This is going to be a fight.)
I also just hope that I get to work with teachers and be able to contribute to a more positive climate at whatever school I work at. This is why I am starting an "after school yoga club" for the teachers at my practicum site! I'm hoping it'll help people to feel a little more calm and a little less stressed, and maybe then we'll all be able to stay in our chosen careers in education for more than 4.5 years! Here's hoping!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A note on suprises
Life is always full of little surprises. (And NO, I am not pregnant. That's not what I mean at all.) I mean that time and time again, in small ways, and occasionally in bigger ways, Life reminds us that we insignificant humans are not really in control of everything. Of course for those of us that are (semi?) control freaks, that can be hard. But on the other hand, what I am learning, is that it can also be quite the relief. Since we *can't* control everything, we are relieved of the burden of *trying* to control everything. It just won't work. Sometimes, we just need to surrender to what IS.
I have been listening to this yoga podcast, which has completely been the jackpot of all internet finds for me. This amazing woman Kelly posts podcasts of yoga classes that she records, and she wonderfully posts images of the sequence of postures, so you can scan through and see if it's a class that sounds good to you at that moment or not. Plus there are so many to choose from, one that is only 23 minutes when you are crunched for time, 40 min, 60 min, or a full 90 minute class. Plus, she is a FANTASTIC teacher. I love her. She doesn't annoy me at all, and I like her sequences most of the time. I have never had this dedicated of a home practice and it feels so wonderful. (Find her blog here.)
One of her classes is dedicated to that whole idea of surrendering to what is. When you get a flat tire, there's no use to moaning, Why did this happen to me? You need to just accept that the tire is flat, and it needs to get fixed. I was pleasantly surprised when I had this reaction on Monday...I came home to find that when Alex took Gatsby out, he got sprayed by a skunk!!!! Alex was expecting me to be mad that he "let" it happen...but all I could think was, Wow, I am so lucky this happened while I was at class and you already bathed him!!!! (But seriously, it SMELLED SO BAD....I can only imagine how the poor dog felt, having just been sprayed straight in the face.) Anyway..sometimes stuff happens. What can you do but just deal with it?
We had a *happy* surprise on Sunday. On our adventures out and about in the Miata, we happened across a farmstand. We pulled over to see what kind of goodies they had, and it turned out to be a TOMATO TASTING. We seriously got to taste 15+ varieties of tomatoes for free, on a gorgeous, warm, late summer day, after driving around in a convertible. Does life get any better?
Sometimes it is so much harder than it seems to roll with the punches, but sometimes, it's the easiest (and only) option!
I have been listening to this yoga podcast, which has completely been the jackpot of all internet finds for me. This amazing woman Kelly posts podcasts of yoga classes that she records, and she wonderfully posts images of the sequence of postures, so you can scan through and see if it's a class that sounds good to you at that moment or not. Plus there are so many to choose from, one that is only 23 minutes when you are crunched for time, 40 min, 60 min, or a full 90 minute class. Plus, she is a FANTASTIC teacher. I love her. She doesn't annoy me at all, and I like her sequences most of the time. I have never had this dedicated of a home practice and it feels so wonderful. (Find her blog here.)
One of her classes is dedicated to that whole idea of surrendering to what is. When you get a flat tire, there's no use to moaning, Why did this happen to me? You need to just accept that the tire is flat, and it needs to get fixed. I was pleasantly surprised when I had this reaction on Monday...I came home to find that when Alex took Gatsby out, he got sprayed by a skunk!!!! Alex was expecting me to be mad that he "let" it happen...but all I could think was, Wow, I am so lucky this happened while I was at class and you already bathed him!!!! (But seriously, it SMELLED SO BAD....I can only imagine how the poor dog felt, having just been sprayed straight in the face.) Anyway..sometimes stuff happens. What can you do but just deal with it?
We had a *happy* surprise on Sunday. On our adventures out and about in the Miata, we happened across a farmstand. We pulled over to see what kind of goodies they had, and it turned out to be a TOMATO TASTING. We seriously got to taste 15+ varieties of tomatoes for free, on a gorgeous, warm, late summer day, after driving around in a convertible. Does life get any better?
Sometimes it is so much harder than it seems to roll with the punches, but sometimes, it's the easiest (and only) option!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
An A+ teacher
Boston's NPR station (WBUR) ran a series back in May on what makes a "good" teacher. I did not get to hear it on the radio at that time, but I'm slowly sifting through the articles they have on their website and they are certainly very interesting. (Check 'em out here.) Now that most teachers and kiddos are back in school, including me! (Am I a teacher, or a kiddo? - well, both and neither. I'm an adult in the school system as a School Pyschology practicum student, and a student in the classroom at NEU....and hopefully a yoga teacher in the schools, if everything works out - fingers crossed!) One way or another I am "back to school." (This is where I emit a longing sigh for summer, and then move on sadly.)
So the whole reason the discussion of what makes a Good Teacher began in the first place is because studies show that teacher quality is more important to student learning than other things, such as school size, or student-to-teacher ratio. This is good, because even in schools where classrooms are overflowing, we can be hopeful that the students are not automatically doomed to failure from being stuck in a large class. But how do we define "good" or "quality" teaching?
One proposed method to determine if a teacher is "effective" is to rate them based on their students' test scores on standardized state tests, such as the MCAS in Massachusetts. In accordance with the No Child Left Behind act, schools should be striving to "proficiency" in subjects like Language Arts and Math anyway. Other states, like Massachusetts, require passing scores on these tests in order to receive a high school diploma. So everyone is under a lot of pressure to do well on these tests anyway, and now we are going to stake a teacher's job on them, too?
I have to say, as a budding School Psychologist, I am very interested in making data-based decisions and monitoring progress. However, putting such VERY high stakes on a One-Shot-Test situation is really a terrible idea. Obviously, teachers need to be evaluated via multiple methods, just as students do before big decisions are made. I don't think that anyone is proposing that test scores be the ONLY method of assessing a teacher, but something about it makes me a little uneasy. In one of the articles, a teacher asks, "How do you put a number on how much you love the kids?" You don't, and yet it is something that may be the magic ingredient to the kids feeling respected and valued as people: Love. My dad, who was a public school teacher for over 30 years, always says that the way to reach any kid, especially the ones who people think are "un-reachable," is just to love them. So simple.
And yet, is that asking too much? I'm not sure we ask more of any other profession than we ask of teachers, as far as giving so much of themselves personally to their job. We want them to go above and beyond always...but isn't that what makes people exceptional? Going above and beyond? If everyone was going above and beyond, that would become the average, the expectation. And yet, we ask for it.
I sat in on a class today with a *phenomenal* teacher. She teaches in a small classroom with 7th and 8th grade students who have language based learning disabilities. She has a standing offer with each student in the class to take them to Barnes and Noble and help them pick out a book right then and there, to encourage them to read. Out of her own pocket. She really is amazing, and she clearly LOVES her kids. But can we really ask that of EVERY teacher?
What do you think? Do you have any stories of a teacher who went above and beyond for you?
So the whole reason the discussion of what makes a Good Teacher began in the first place is because studies show that teacher quality is more important to student learning than other things, such as school size, or student-to-teacher ratio. This is good, because even in schools where classrooms are overflowing, we can be hopeful that the students are not automatically doomed to failure from being stuck in a large class. But how do we define "good" or "quality" teaching?
One proposed method to determine if a teacher is "effective" is to rate them based on their students' test scores on standardized state tests, such as the MCAS in Massachusetts. In accordance with the No Child Left Behind act, schools should be striving to "proficiency" in subjects like Language Arts and Math anyway. Other states, like Massachusetts, require passing scores on these tests in order to receive a high school diploma. So everyone is under a lot of pressure to do well on these tests anyway, and now we are going to stake a teacher's job on them, too?
I have to say, as a budding School Psychologist, I am very interested in making data-based decisions and monitoring progress. However, putting such VERY high stakes on a One-Shot-Test situation is really a terrible idea. Obviously, teachers need to be evaluated via multiple methods, just as students do before big decisions are made. I don't think that anyone is proposing that test scores be the ONLY method of assessing a teacher, but something about it makes me a little uneasy. In one of the articles, a teacher asks, "How do you put a number on how much you love the kids?" You don't, and yet it is something that may be the magic ingredient to the kids feeling respected and valued as people: Love. My dad, who was a public school teacher for over 30 years, always says that the way to reach any kid, especially the ones who people think are "un-reachable," is just to love them. So simple.
And yet, is that asking too much? I'm not sure we ask more of any other profession than we ask of teachers, as far as giving so much of themselves personally to their job. We want them to go above and beyond always...but isn't that what makes people exceptional? Going above and beyond? If everyone was going above and beyond, that would become the average, the expectation. And yet, we ask for it.
I sat in on a class today with a *phenomenal* teacher. She teaches in a small classroom with 7th and 8th grade students who have language based learning disabilities. She has a standing offer with each student in the class to take them to Barnes and Noble and help them pick out a book right then and there, to encourage them to read. Out of her own pocket. She really is amazing, and she clearly LOVES her kids. But can we really ask that of EVERY teacher?
What do you think? Do you have any stories of a teacher who went above and beyond for you?
Saturday, August 20, 2011
A photo essay
There is a very sweet and beautiful photo essay about orphaned baby elephants in Kenya on National Geographic. Check it out here!
Friday, August 19, 2011
A willingness to ask for what you want
When it came to dinner tonight, on my evening home alone, I knew exactly what I wanted: Greasy chinese food, delivered to my door, cheap & easy. (Oh, and it was such a delicious indulgence. Thank you Hong Kong King in Salem, for your perfectly fatty crab rangoun and veggie lo mein.)
When it comes to what I want in life...well, that's a lot more difficult to pinpoint, now isn't it?
I came across this lovely article in August's Yoga Journal about having a more playful spirit. As someone who (just recently, hooray!) graduated from a 200-hour yoga teacher training specifically for teaching yoga to children, I completely believe it how important it is to play! Kids need it, and quite frankly, adults need it, too. We teachers-in-training were ALL too willing to play along with the games, crafts, and creativity involved in our practice-teaches to each other. We don't get many opportunities in grown-up life to be silly, to be creative, to giggle. For one reason, or 100 reasons, we've lost some of that child-like wonder that many of us enjoyed as children.
The article gave a few suggestions to bring wonder back into your life, like spending time with a child or an animal - watch how they play and discover the world again through their eyes. But another one really struck a chord with me. It said, "Instead of thinking about negative "what ifs," play the positive "What if" game. Ask yourself, "What if I get my dream job?" "What if I open deeply to love?" Let your dreams become reality by asking, "How could this get any better?" And live the answer!"
I find it so easy to spiral down a path of negative worry about the future...In thinking about becoming a School Psychologist in 2 short years, it is so easy for me to worry...What if I fail? What if I make a grave mistake? What if I am not successful? What if I end up hurting someone I am supposed to help?
I don't think I'm alone in this worry, especially after a few useful activities from our recent counseling class. But I find that it is easy for me to worry about other things too...Alex isn't home yet? And he didn't call? Oh my god, what if he got into a car accident?
Thankfully, yoga has taught me to nip that last one in the bud, so I usually tell myself- it's unlikely that he was in a car accident, and very likely that he forgot to charge his cell phone. Don't worry about it, until there is really something to worry about!
But I haven't quite been able to shut up all my fears just yet. And why is it that we don't often play the positive What If game? I think, as I've reached my mid-twenties, that we really, officially are not even close to being kids anymore. And when we were kids, we could say, I want to do X, Y, or Z "when I grow up," and no one said, "Well, gee, you're not real close to achieving that goal, are ya?" or "Wow, that's going to cost a lot of money" or "That's ambitious." Not that most people would actually say that to us now, I just feel like there is more of a deadline now. Before college, it was like all you had was time ahead of you. And now it's like, well, better get to "successful" before 30, because aren't you planning on having kids? I think it's mostly internal judgment, but there's also less obviously external judgment, in looks and eyebrow raises.
I think now, too, it's hard to play the positive what-if game for two reasons. 1) It takes real, hard work to achieve ambitious goals. And man, wouldn't I like to watch Gilmore Girls and knit all day? and 2) is that ever-persistent fear of failure. If I announce these dreams of mine, say them out loud, type them in black and white....then you and I will both know if I don't achieve them.
But this is so preposterous! I need to know what I want in order to get it! I need to ASK the universe, please, could I have some chinese food? before it will be delivered on my doorstep!
So what do I want? Lord knows, I'm still not sure. But I think I really would like to be a School Psychologist, and just maybe help some kids and parents and teachers. I'd really like to teach yoga to some kids, and give them a space where they can be safe and relaxed and maybe let go of all the craziness for a little while. I'd like to be happy. Next Saturday, when I teach a kids class at the Holistic Health Festival, I'd really like some people to take my business cards, look up my website, and maybe hire me for some paying teaching jobs! (Links to my in-progress website, coming soon!)
What do YOU want out of life? What's your positive What If question?
When it comes to what I want in life...well, that's a lot more difficult to pinpoint, now isn't it?
I came across this lovely article in August's Yoga Journal about having a more playful spirit. As someone who (just recently, hooray!) graduated from a 200-hour yoga teacher training specifically for teaching yoga to children, I completely believe it how important it is to play! Kids need it, and quite frankly, adults need it, too. We teachers-in-training were ALL too willing to play along with the games, crafts, and creativity involved in our practice-teaches to each other. We don't get many opportunities in grown-up life to be silly, to be creative, to giggle. For one reason, or 100 reasons, we've lost some of that child-like wonder that many of us enjoyed as children.
The article gave a few suggestions to bring wonder back into your life, like spending time with a child or an animal - watch how they play and discover the world again through their eyes. But another one really struck a chord with me. It said, "Instead of thinking about negative "what ifs," play the positive "What if" game. Ask yourself, "What if I get my dream job?" "What if I open deeply to love?" Let your dreams become reality by asking, "How could this get any better?" And live the answer!"
I find it so easy to spiral down a path of negative worry about the future...In thinking about becoming a School Psychologist in 2 short years, it is so easy for me to worry...What if I fail? What if I make a grave mistake? What if I am not successful? What if I end up hurting someone I am supposed to help?
I don't think I'm alone in this worry, especially after a few useful activities from our recent counseling class. But I find that it is easy for me to worry about other things too...Alex isn't home yet? And he didn't call? Oh my god, what if he got into a car accident?
Thankfully, yoga has taught me to nip that last one in the bud, so I usually tell myself- it's unlikely that he was in a car accident, and very likely that he forgot to charge his cell phone. Don't worry about it, until there is really something to worry about!
But I haven't quite been able to shut up all my fears just yet. And why is it that we don't often play the positive What If game? I think, as I've reached my mid-twenties, that we really, officially are not even close to being kids anymore. And when we were kids, we could say, I want to do X, Y, or Z "when I grow up," and no one said, "Well, gee, you're not real close to achieving that goal, are ya?" or "Wow, that's going to cost a lot of money" or "That's ambitious." Not that most people would actually say that to us now, I just feel like there is more of a deadline now. Before college, it was like all you had was time ahead of you. And now it's like, well, better get to "successful" before 30, because aren't you planning on having kids? I think it's mostly internal judgment, but there's also less obviously external judgment, in looks and eyebrow raises.
I think now, too, it's hard to play the positive what-if game for two reasons. 1) It takes real, hard work to achieve ambitious goals. And man, wouldn't I like to watch Gilmore Girls and knit all day? and 2) is that ever-persistent fear of failure. If I announce these dreams of mine, say them out loud, type them in black and white....then you and I will both know if I don't achieve them.
But this is so preposterous! I need to know what I want in order to get it! I need to ASK the universe, please, could I have some chinese food? before it will be delivered on my doorstep!
So what do I want? Lord knows, I'm still not sure. But I think I really would like to be a School Psychologist, and just maybe help some kids and parents and teachers. I'd really like to teach yoga to some kids, and give them a space where they can be safe and relaxed and maybe let go of all the craziness for a little while. I'd like to be happy. Next Saturday, when I teach a kids class at the Holistic Health Festival, I'd really like some people to take my business cards, look up my website, and maybe hire me for some paying teaching jobs! (Links to my in-progress website, coming soon!)
What do YOU want out of life? What's your positive What If question?
Friday, August 12, 2011
An overview of the chakras
When my teacher said we would be spending a day talking about chakras in our yoga teacher training, I anticipated that it was a topic I would feel somewhat skeptical about. I was just a little resistant to it before we began, because...well. Isn't this just some hippie hoo-ha? Chakra energy bodies don't show up on CAT scans, or in an autopsy. I didn't think they were "real."
But I was surprised at how much they resonated with me, after all.
The basic idea is that the body has 7 energy centers, or chakras, with the word "chakra" translating to "wheel," running in a line from our tailbones to the top of our heads along the spine. Each one is associated with an area of the body, a gland in the endocrine system, a color, and a more esoteric function that it represents.
Putting it very simply, they are:
1. Root - Red, Grounded-ness and security
2. Spleen - Orange, Emotions and desires
3. Stomach - Yellow, Personal power
4. Heart - Green, Love and compassion
5. Throat - Blue, Communication, speaking your truth while listening
6. Brow - Indigo, Intuition and creativity
7. Crown - Violet, Spirituality and higher self
(This chart is useful if you're interested in more info.)
I really like the concept of spinning energy, because really, we are made up of bundles of nerves and electrical activity in our bodies. Plus, everything seems to boil down to the concept of "balance" and "variety" for me. People are not simple creatures. We are complex beings with many interests and many parts of our personalities that, combined, make us who we are. And when one part of ourselves becomes too small or too large, it sort of throws us out of whack. We can't be ALL love and compassion, because otherwise we may not also be creating or speaking our own truths, or tapping into our spiritual selves. We can't be ALL spiritual, because otherwise we would be floating off in la-la land and forgetting to keep our feet grounded in the real world.
I also like that the chakras are usually associated with an affirmation, or a mantra. For example, for the root chakra, "I am safe and secure." This is another place where elephants come in for me! The elephant is associated with the root chakra typically, because it is such a heavy and grounded animal. It can be a good one for people like me to meditate on, because it can be so easy for my mind to spin out of control with anxious feelings. Thinking, I am as firmly grounded as an elephant, I am here, I am present, I am securely tethered to the earth - this can help calm down my tendency to worry about the future.
To reference Eat, Pray, Love again, the author mentions that Saint Teresa of Avila, a catholic in the 1500's, wrote of "union with god as a physical ascension of light through seven inner mansions of being." For some reason, the fact that other people, in other places, of other religions, also wrote about the concept of 7 places in the body that lead to an enlightenment of some kind, solidifies it for me. We can all have our own interpretation, our own metaphors, but there is something there. I believe there is, anyway.
But I was surprised at how much they resonated with me, after all.
The basic idea is that the body has 7 energy centers, or chakras, with the word "chakra" translating to "wheel," running in a line from our tailbones to the top of our heads along the spine. Each one is associated with an area of the body, a gland in the endocrine system, a color, and a more esoteric function that it represents.
Putting it very simply, they are:
1. Root - Red, Grounded-ness and security
2. Spleen - Orange, Emotions and desires
3. Stomach - Yellow, Personal power
4. Heart - Green, Love and compassion
5. Throat - Blue, Communication, speaking your truth while listening
6. Brow - Indigo, Intuition and creativity
7. Crown - Violet, Spirituality and higher self
(This chart is useful if you're interested in more info.)
I really like the concept of spinning energy, because really, we are made up of bundles of nerves and electrical activity in our bodies. Plus, everything seems to boil down to the concept of "balance" and "variety" for me. People are not simple creatures. We are complex beings with many interests and many parts of our personalities that, combined, make us who we are. And when one part of ourselves becomes too small or too large, it sort of throws us out of whack. We can't be ALL love and compassion, because otherwise we may not also be creating or speaking our own truths, or tapping into our spiritual selves. We can't be ALL spiritual, because otherwise we would be floating off in la-la land and forgetting to keep our feet grounded in the real world.
I also like that the chakras are usually associated with an affirmation, or a mantra. For example, for the root chakra, "I am safe and secure." This is another place where elephants come in for me! The elephant is associated with the root chakra typically, because it is such a heavy and grounded animal. It can be a good one for people like me to meditate on, because it can be so easy for my mind to spin out of control with anxious feelings. Thinking, I am as firmly grounded as an elephant, I am here, I am present, I am securely tethered to the earth - this can help calm down my tendency to worry about the future.
To reference Eat, Pray, Love again, the author mentions that Saint Teresa of Avila, a catholic in the 1500's, wrote of "union with god as a physical ascension of light through seven inner mansions of being." For some reason, the fact that other people, in other places, of other religions, also wrote about the concept of 7 places in the body that lead to an enlightenment of some kind, solidifies it for me. We can all have our own interpretation, our own metaphors, but there is something there. I believe there is, anyway.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A follow-up to self care
Okay. Don't judge me. But, I am currently reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I saw the movie and didn't love it, because there seemed to be a lot missing, a lot that didn't make sense - much of which is perfectly clear in the book. Stop laughing Alex, because I am actually enjoying reading it.
After writing my post about the line between self-care and indulgence, I read this passage in the book that I thought was really interesting:
"For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of pleasure was my ingrained sense of Puritan guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is very American, too -- the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud's for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You're Worth It! You've Come a Long Way, Baby! And the insecure consumer thinks, Yeah! Thanks! I AM gonna go buy a six-pack, damn it! Maybe even two six-packs! And then comes the reactionary binge. Followed by the remorse. Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled to enjoyment in this life. The reply in Italy to "You Deserve a Break Today" would probably be, Yeah, no duh. That's why I'm planning on taking a break at noon, to go over to your house and sleep with your wife."
I think there are a few interesting points here...First of all, restriction with a subsequent binge. We hear about this in reference to eating disorders and yo-yo diets...Skip lunch, then eat a massive dinner. This is the very reason we encouraged the overweight teens we worked with as part of the adolescent weight loss study to never skip a meal. When you skip, you tend to be hungrier and overeat at your next meal for a net of more calories than if you had eaten two small-ish meals. So then you've eaten more calories, but you feel like you've had less, because you restricted, and so then you think - well, then I deserve some dessert, too. And before you know it, whatever reasonable calorie goal you had set for yourself is blown. And then comes the guilt. (Oh guilt. How you have haunted my life.)
But all this clearly applies not just to how we eat, but the way we shop, or sleep, or the way we relax. (Well, the way I "relax.") - For example - during the week, I feel "far too busy" to watch a TV show, most of the time. But then I end up squandering the entirety of my first day off watching 5 hours of TV in a row, and then I feel guilty for "wasting" a whole day. Or, I don't get enough sleep and then feel hazy when I sleep in on Saturday.
I also find it interesting that other cultures do not exist this way. Maybe this is why Europe doesn't have the obesity problem America has - because they have a more consistent confidence that they do deserve breaks and do deserve some pleasures in life. There isn't the same need for a reactionary binge, and with no binge, there's no need for the guilt that brings the cycle back around to restricting again as penance.
Essentially, I think we need more balance. Over-eating, or over-sleeping, or over-TV-watching might all just be a quest for achieving balance that was lacking elsewhere. By budgeting time in our day-to-day lives for a variety of pursuits (including something pleasurable!), then we may just find that we don't need to binge (on whatever it is we are binging on) come the weekend. And we may find that there is time for those real self-care activities - such as sleeping well, eating well, and exercising - after all.
(However, I make no promises that I will be able to follow this philosophy myself once the hectic school year begins again...)
After writing my post about the line between self-care and indulgence, I read this passage in the book that I thought was really interesting:
"For me, though, a major obstacle in my pursuit of pleasure was my ingrained sense of Puritan guilt. Do I really deserve this pleasure? This is very American, too -- the insecurity about whether we have earned our happiness. Planet Advertising in America orbits completely around the need to convince the uncertain consumer that yes, you have actually warranted a special treat. This Bud's for You! You Deserve a Break Today! Because You're Worth It! You've Come a Long Way, Baby! And the insecure consumer thinks, Yeah! Thanks! I AM gonna go buy a six-pack, damn it! Maybe even two six-packs! And then comes the reactionary binge. Followed by the remorse. Such advertising campaigns would probably not be as effective in the Italian culture, where people already know that they are entitled to enjoyment in this life. The reply in Italy to "You Deserve a Break Today" would probably be, Yeah, no duh. That's why I'm planning on taking a break at noon, to go over to your house and sleep with your wife."
I think there are a few interesting points here...First of all, restriction with a subsequent binge. We hear about this in reference to eating disorders and yo-yo diets...Skip lunch, then eat a massive dinner. This is the very reason we encouraged the overweight teens we worked with as part of the adolescent weight loss study to never skip a meal. When you skip, you tend to be hungrier and overeat at your next meal for a net of more calories than if you had eaten two small-ish meals. So then you've eaten more calories, but you feel like you've had less, because you restricted, and so then you think - well, then I deserve some dessert, too. And before you know it, whatever reasonable calorie goal you had set for yourself is blown. And then comes the guilt. (Oh guilt. How you have haunted my life.)
But all this clearly applies not just to how we eat, but the way we shop, or sleep, or the way we relax. (Well, the way I "relax.") - For example - during the week, I feel "far too busy" to watch a TV show, most of the time. But then I end up squandering the entirety of my first day off watching 5 hours of TV in a row, and then I feel guilty for "wasting" a whole day. Or, I don't get enough sleep and then feel hazy when I sleep in on Saturday.
I also find it interesting that other cultures do not exist this way. Maybe this is why Europe doesn't have the obesity problem America has - because they have a more consistent confidence that they do deserve breaks and do deserve some pleasures in life. There isn't the same need for a reactionary binge, and with no binge, there's no need for the guilt that brings the cycle back around to restricting again as penance.
Essentially, I think we need more balance. Over-eating, or over-sleeping, or over-TV-watching might all just be a quest for achieving balance that was lacking elsewhere. By budgeting time in our day-to-day lives for a variety of pursuits (including something pleasurable!), then we may just find that we don't need to binge (on whatever it is we are binging on) come the weekend. And we may find that there is time for those real self-care activities - such as sleeping well, eating well, and exercising - after all.
(However, I make no promises that I will be able to follow this philosophy myself once the hectic school year begins again...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)